When people are thinking about polyamory, something that runs through almost every thought are the possibilities that are inherent with each choice, each connection, each emotional bond. "What if __________ happens?" holds a lot more interest as a mental exercise when there are more balls to be juggled.
One of my partners went out last night, had a good first date. That's exciting! It's easy for me to get into "cart before the horse" territory though, and start wondering where things might go, and how that connection may impact the status quo. Staying out of that space and just letting it be whatever it grows into, or not, is really where I need to put myself.
In the same way, I have plans to be out this evening, as you may have surmised from S's most recent post! There's about a gazillion things that I would be open to happening tonight, if other things line up to allow them to manifest. There's this tricky little issue though: Other people have free will too! I know, massive surprise here. That means that maybe the person I tap to participate in my fantasy of being fisted in front of a group of eager watchers won't be interested in playing. It could mean that I will say "no" to others that are seeking my participation in a given scene, or maybe that I'll end up exploring something totally unanticipated.
Staying flexible and open to the possibilities is what gives the greatest freedom in whatever decision making process one is utilizing. Sometimes the options I am presented with don't seem to be what I would have chosen, but they lead to the most amazing places. Places that I hadn't considered, hadn't dreamed big enough to allow for. If I'd charted the path ahead of time, I might have missed the unexpected turn.